Money and Marriage Goals Stay Together Forever
Money and marriage go hand in hand, but many couples don’t think about it until they’re knee-deep in debt from houses, cars, medical bills, babies, and credit cards. I know my husband and I spent little time talking about our financial goals and dreams before we got married. Like most couples, we were easily distracted by wedding bands, beautiful dresses, fancy invitations, and a honeymoon that neither of us will ever forget.
Whether you’re newly engaged, newlyweds, or just newly overwhelmed by your lack of financial foresight, now is the time to make a financial plan that will help your marriage thrive. You could survive paycheck to paycheck, blowing every extra cent that comes your way, but the lack of financial planning will eventually lead to disagreements and missed opportunities for vacations and other luxuries.
Give your marriage a strong financial footing by considering some of the top money and marriage goals out there today. I’m about to hand you everything you need to improve your financial standing in the short and long term, and you can take every step as a unified couple.
Why is it so important to read through these money and marriage tips rather than scrolling through Instagram or grabbing your spouse for a quickie? I believe financial planning is one of the most important things you can do as a couple because money is the leading cause of marital stress.
Money and Marriage Statistics
One survey found that more than 40% of couples have conflicting money beliefs and spending habits. Another found that more than 35% of couples name money as the top cause of friction in their relationship. Spending habits are one of the biggest causes of disagreement, so you can strengthen your marriage just by determining how you will spend your money. That includes daily expenses like coffee and groceries as well as big-budget items like cars, housing, and vacations.
There are a lot of other money matters that are best agreed upon upfront. For instance, will one partner serve as the sole wage earner while the other stays home with the kids? If not, how much can you afford to spend on childcare, and are there reputable providers available within your budget? Retirement, college savings, insurance policies, and even the type of cars you drive can all lead to disagreements if you don’t set financial goals to guide your marriage.
Top Financial Problems in Marriage – What Goals to Set
What should financial goals for couples look like? They look much like personal finance goals for an individual except they take into account the needs and desires of both people. If you already have kids or plan on having them soon, your goals may look more like financial planning for the family.
If you’re already in debt or are facing other financial struggles in your marriage, then eliminating those problems will take priority over any other monetary goals. You’re likely already experienced some level of disagreement with your spouse if there are money problems to solve, and the faster you put out those fires, the greater chance your marriage has of returning to blissful harmony.
If you don’t have any current financial messes to clean up or are looking more for financial planning tips for newlyweds, the following list will give you some ideas of what you might discuss as you create a financial blueprint for the upcoming months and years. These ideas are all based on some of the biggest financial problems in marriages today.
Plan Big Purchases
What big purchases would you like to make in the future? Think about when you might buy a home, trade your current home in for something larger, or invest in newer vehicles. How often would you upgrade electronics and vehicles? These big purchases take some advance planning to ensure you get the best interest rates and aren’t in over your head in payments. They should definitely find a place in your financial blueprint.
Set Guidelines for Spending
What rules or guidelines can you set to get your spending habits in line? You may each have a different idea of what you should spend your money on, but you more than likely will share one limited amount of money each year. Keep an open mind to what’s most important to your spouse and come to spending agreements right now. You could save yourself a lot of arguments in the years to come.
Talk about Children and Money
What financial investments will you make in your children? Think about whether you will send your kids to public schools or invest in private schooling. What would private schooling cost, and where would you like to send them? Consider college funds and other expenses as well.
Reach Your Financial Goals with Goalry
Agree on Roles
Will you both earn money, or will someone stay home to care for your kids and property? This is one of the biggest decisions you will make as a married couple because it affects not only your financial standing but your overall quality of life and the upbringing of your children.
Do you want to set financial goals for personal wellness? Think beyond the basics of cars and houses to consider how you will take care of your bodies, minds, and souls. Many wellness goals will take some planning but require little financial investment, so it’s easy to meet those goals and feel a sense of accomplishment. Other goals may include how often you want to travel or where you want to go on vacation. Spa treatments and pedicures are little things that could eat away at your budget, so discuss them upfront.
How can you work toward investing in experiences rather than material goods? If you’re a materialistic couple, then that may work out for you. If one or both of you value time together more than anything, then that should reflect in your financial system. Some couples’ experiences are more expensive than others, but you should clear space in your budget for those that bring you closer together and strengthen your bond as a married couple.
Try Financial Goal Setting Exercises for Couples
When first setting my financial goals with my spouse, it felt challenging. We knew very little about money and marriage dilemmas, but we had already run into some disagreements that proved we needed to think deeper about how we spent our money.
I stumbled upon some great financial setting exercises for couples that helped us think about what really mattered to our relationship, and I want to share some of those exercises with you. Take the time to sit down with your spouse and work through at least one of these exercises. It will help you in the goal-setting process that is to come.
The start of a new year is the perfect time to reevaluate your goals and freshen them up in light of any changes that have occurred in your life. There are always unexpected twists and turns over the course of a relationship, so your financial goals are never set in stone.
Get out a pen and paper or pull up blank Word documents. Each person should list the top five things they would like to accomplish in the next year, five years, and 10 years. Five financial accomplishments for each of those timeframes. Share your results and see if you have any shared goals that you can get excited about achieving together. You may find that some of your spouse’s ideas also appeal to you, so keep an open mind. Also, look for ways to merge ideas to create new accomplishments you can both stand behind.
Play “would you rather” with finances in mind. Would you rather pay $500 for a pair of new shoes or spend $500 on a weekend couple’s getaway? Those questions allow you to think creatively while diving deeper into what matters most to each of you.
How to Set Financial Goals with Your Spouse
Setting financial goals to make sure your money and marriage work well together starts with understanding some key financial goal definitions:
S.M.A.R.T. Goals – That acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. As you set goals for your marriage, make sure each one is easily measured in some way, is reasonably attainable, and is relevant to your lifestyle and relationship. Finally, set specific goals that have deadlines. “Save money” isn’t specific enough, and you cannot measure your progress or tell when you’ve achieved that goal. Getting more specific and measurable, you can say that you will build a savings fund that equals at least 12 months of your living expenses.
Long-Term vs. Short-Term Goals – Short-term goals reflect what you want to achieve in the coming months, maybe up to one year. Long-term goals look to your future ambitions in the financial realm. You may also have mid-term goals that fall somewhere in between.
These definitions provide a simple framework for establishing financial goals as a couple and then turning them into a financial plan or blueprint that you adjust annually to ensure it stays relevant to your life and evolving relationship.
Follow these steps together to create your starter plan:
Brainstorm a list of potential financial goals. Work together to make this list as long as possible. You may start with general goals, but try to look for ways to make them more and more specific. Dream big here because not all goals will make your final list, at least not right now.
Highlight 10-20 goal options that are most important and exciting to you both. If you have existing financial hardships, make sure you include goals that are targeted at relieving that stress as quickly as possible. Dream goals set in when you’re stable and able to take care of bills and other basic financial responsibilities.
Set 3-5 long-term goals. Think about what you want to accomplish in the next five to 10 years. Some high-ticket items like buying a house may make the list, or you may want to increase the number of vacations you take each year. Increasing earnings and achieving promotions at work may rank here as well. These goals will serve as your long-term ambitions, so think about where you would like your life to go in the upcoming years.
Set 3-5 short-term goals that will push you toward those long-term goals. What do you need to do in order to achieve those long-term goals in the timeframe that you established? Yes, you should set deadlines for those long-term goals so they’re time-bound. Your short-term goals should have deadlines as well, but they should occur much sooner than your long-term goals. You can revisit and set new short-term goals as you check them off the list. Each time you reach a short-term goal and need to replace it, you will ask what you need to do to get closer to your long-term goals.
Create a list of short-term objectives or rules that will ensure you hit your short-term goals. Think of daily routines and habits that will help you reach those goals. Your immediate focus is on the daily and weekly routines because they help you reach your short-term goals, and those goals in turn help you reach your long-term goals.
The Importance of Financial Goals for Couples
Despite the growing number of goal setting tips and resources available today, many couples never make financial plans. Those that do often wait until they’re experiencing some level of monetary distress before they sit down and start setting financial goals. There’s nothing wrong with that and anytime is better than never, but there are clear advantages to discussing money and marriage matters as early on in your relationship as possible. Just to name a few:
Your risk of financial infidelity decreases if you have a clear financial plan that unites you and your spouse as a motivated team. Infidelity with money comes in the form of hidden debt, gambling problems, secret bank accounts, and irresponsible spending habits. Those financial secrets eventually sabotage the couple’s financial stability and may lead to bitter disagreements, separation, and divorce.
You can spend more time enjoying one another and less time arguing. When you set financial goals as a couple, you talk openly about what you would like to achieve, experience, and own in the future. You get excited about the goals you share and learn to find a middle ground on topics where you differ in opinion. With all of the messy details settled at one time, you can spend your time living life rather than fighting about debt, bills, and holiday gift budgets.
Goal setting for couples is an exercise in open communication. Both parties get to express their views and feel heard by their spouse. You walk away with a clear understanding of what each person expects and desires in the future. Money and marriage issues go beyond how much money is in the bank. They intersect with all other aspects of your life together, so you will learn to communicate and understand one another as you set your financial goals.
Will Financial Goal Setting Prevent Conflict in Your Marriage? What to Expect
Once you allow money and marriage discussions to flow freely and openly, you should find that you have fewer reasons to argue or bicker with your spouse. While there is never any guarantee that you won’t endure hard times financially or disagree on how money is spent in your household, your chances of going through disputes over money are much lower when you have thoroughly discussed financial issues and are striving toward financial goals as a couple.
You can expect your financial goals to prevent future conflict as long as they meet all the required touchpoints of the S.M.A.R.T. goal planning system. Go through each of your goals and make sure they hit each of those points and that you are both in agreement on all goals.
If you find that you and your spouse have your own financial goals that you would like to meet individually, you can have mutual goals and personal goals. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you’re both aware of what you’re working toward together and separately. Just make sure that what you must do to hit your personal goals will not conflict with what you’re doing to hit your goals as a couple.
Don’t Forget the Action Plan
Once you set goals and have a blueprint for your financial future, action is required. How are you going to reach those money and marriage goals in the short and long term? What do you need to do in order to progress over time?
In Conclusion
It can take some time to set money and marriage goals that meet both of your expectations and set you up for a great lifestyle that you want to share together. I know how tough it is to carve out time that you can spend on financial planning, but it’s worth the peace and security that you obtain in the end.
The goals are only the starting point. You must create an action plan with daily and weekly objectives and then follow through with the plan. If one or both of your waiver, it could cost you financial integrity moving forward.